Poem by Bill Perrault

"Those Little Devils" by James Conant

My drug for my soul

I need it to relax, to be me
Distorted and crazy
I will steal, kill, and die for it
I will humiliate, regurgitate, and retaliate for it
I will destroy my children for it
I will destroy everything that is dear and near to me for it
My drug is my God and my evil and devilish life
I think about getting high all the time
Staying high is my goal in life
I think, sleep, eat, drink, imagine, fantasize, and connive for it
Every second of my miserable life
I am the evil of myself made whole with my drug
Nothing is more important forever
Nothing, nothing, not even eternity
I need to condemn myself for what I am
I am the monster that evil is made of
Long live the evil that makes me whole
May you hate me for what I am
The devil made whole in a human addict
Can you hear me now?
I am in despair